I would like to share my real life story (which happened 25 years ago) about how I handled a situation where I came to a point where I could not stand being called “ahpuneneh” continuously by a child.

I had just started working life and was in a shophouse in Chinatown installing a telex machine (in those days, telex machines were complex machines which needed three engineers to instal - and two chinese colleagues were with me).

In the shophouse, business was conducted at the front and the back portion was used as residential. The telex machine was installed at the back portion and there were some children and women in the room where the machine was being installed.

One child started to call me “ahpunehneh” “ahpunehneh” continuously. The women in the room started to giggle. Encouraged by the giggling of the adults, the other children too joined the chorus and started chanting “ahpunehneh”.

Well, I was young and as expected of any young, hot blooded man, I lost my cool and turned to one of the women (at that moment I did not care whether the women was the child’s mother or not), and said the following in a very calm manner (I had to remember that I was still a representative of my company even though I was boiling mad inside) :

“Do you know that your child is calling me “father” when he refers to me as “ahpunehneh”? Am I the father of your child?, In Tamil Aphaneh means father”.

Everything went quiet in the room. Everyone stopped giggling and the “blood” drained from the faces of the women. The children just stood there staring at their mothers not knowing or understanding why the mothers had suddenly gone quiet and looking shocked.

I then walked out of the shop, leaving my two other colleagues to complete the job. When my colleagues came out, they told me that the women were very upset by what I had said. I was then sure that that was the last time they ever used the word “ahpunehneh” in their lives.

Now coming to a loose intepretation of the word “ahpunehneh”. In Tamil, there is a word Appaneh which means Father. The word was commonly used by the older generation especially so in India. This is one interpretation. It is therefore possible that the word (in a sing-song manner) distorted to be become “ahpunehneh”

Therefore, if you come across anybody making fun with the word “ahpunehneh”, try asking them if you are their father and see the reaction. Have fun seeing the reaction and I guarantee that that will be the last time they use the word.

The most amazing thing is his claim about the limitation of the Chinese language in referring to skin colour. Of course there are nuances in every language that require our understanding and I’m not decrying them. But seriously folks, if there is a linguistic norm that tends towards racism when it can be helped - changed that is - it seems only fair to attempt this change.

Chinese is not my language, but I know it to be a rich and very developed tongue that goes back a few thousand years - at least according to many historians. With such a rich heritage, it is questionable if you ask me to believe that the language does not have words for colour. For instance if you are simply talking about colour and not referring to the skin, there are words to denote different colours, for example, “hong” for “red” (simplified Mandarin as I understand it. Hence we have the “hong bao” or “red packet”. If normal colours can have variety, why not skin colour?

And about the nose-holding, my friend Mr K S, I would agree that is understandable (thought maybe rude) to hold your nose obviously when a person with an unacceptable odour passes by. But what do you make of people who take a look at you from 30 metres away and start holding their noses - right after you are freshly showered, stepping out to work and THEY have been tending to their pet animals faeces and cleaning up at the time WITHOUT holding their noses until they see you that far away.

I have to go into such detail because I can understand that there may be other justifications for holding noses. But how do you explain the above, friend?

And yes “Ahpunehneh” is not a word. Most of us know that. And a pottu is not a bluetooth device. And yes you say we are anally retentive to point that out. You also say a similar jibe in return wouldn’t be taken badly. So would it be okay to call Chinese “Ching Chongs” or “Cina Bukits” or to say that chopticks would be good for, say, scratching backs? I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen the theory tested. Most of the Chinese would disagree, and they have disagreed. So are they anal-retentive then?

Think about it people. We’re not a bunch of idiots to be twisted around semantic cobwebs. Racism is there. It’s global. There’s no denying it. What we can do is to minimise it. All said, yes I agree that to get overly sensitive is to invite not only “anal-retentive” labels but also to demonstrate a lack of security and confidence in one’s own ethnic roots and respectability. Why have the Americans gone where they’ve gone? You can point out a lot of reasons, but I’d say a big one is their ability to laugh at themselves - an essential quality for all of us.

however, i have to state for the record that sometimes its not “misunderstanding” per se that is perpetuated, rather its plain bigotry.

in my experience as a teacher in a multiracial society that claims itself to be modern and rational, i have encountered a chinese parent requesting that i move her daughter’s seating position in class away from an indian girl as a precautionary measure against getting ticks in her hair.

i did a double take and flatly refused this chinese parent and also vouched personally for the indian girl that she does not have ticks.

this however is the only racist incident that i came across in the three and a half years of teaching, i observe most children interacting uninhibitedly and politely with those from a different race. perhaps that i why i enjoy being a teacher, i can correct misconceptions among children and also be in a position to rebuke even parents.

in response to KS’s mitigation of thugchic’s bane, i’ll go out on a limb to hazard that most actions such as nose-pinching and derogatory references stem from stereotyping on the part of the majority race and not sheer misunderstanding. that is to say, to play safe, we pinch our nose, to play safe we rather our children not get ticks.

presently being a minority in a majority white country heightens my respect for sensitivity between races. i have not experienced any encounters with racism, but i am prepared to be patient with people who perpetuate certain stereotypes, and when they do it is more often a case of the lack of awareness rather than a malicious attack. for instance, in the four day trip around tasmania i attended with 10 white participants (non-aussie) and a white guide (aussie), it was assumed that i have difficulty understanding english simply because i am asian.

however, i do not hold it against them because it is no fault of theirs that they happen to have not encountered many asians. the thing is, they are very receptive and willing to be corrected.

i just hope that everyone else can do the same, be receptive and willing to be corrected rather than be on the defensive.

on my part, i thought that that just because the participants on the trip were white, they were all aussies - blonde hair blue eyes isn’t it?

KS said…

Yes, “Ahpunehneh” is not a word. I know because I asked an Indian friend for the word’s meaning during a chit chat session. He also told me that his parents used it in a few conversations with him when he was young. Mainly in the same context that many children in Singapore come into contact with this term: ‘If you don’t stop misbehaving, the Ahpunehneh over there will take you away.’ Ok, sadly this Ahupunehneh character normally is filled in by a darker skinned individual. So it sticks in the head of the child that indians are called Ahpunehneh. So when they do use it (as a child or when they grow up), they do not use it with racist intent, in contrast to the term ‘nigger’. I personally feel that it is a sad case of miseducation, mainly from adults who use the term loosely in front of their kids. Hope that our next generation parents will know better.

Secondly, about the conversation with your friend, whom I assume to be chinese, I wish to point out certain interesting things about the chinese. Firstly, note that local chinese may not speak very good English. If you noticed (it would be easier if you understood the chinese language), some chinese students do direct translation from Mandarin into English, thus accounting for odd sentences like ‘Don’t like that lei’ or ‘Later you go where?’ This direct translation phenomenon is due to the demands to be bilingual.

In Mandarin, when we talk about someone’s skin colour, it is always white or black. Note that this sounds offensive only because of the limitations of both languages. A more accurate explanation would be that in mandarin, ‘white’ in this context means ‘pale’ while ‘black’ means ‘dark’. So, an individual with a relatively weak command of English would use the direct translation of the Mandarin term of ‘Black’. I’m not trying to bluff my way out of this one because I’m a relatively dark skinned Chinese myself, and I have received comments that I’m rather black. So, please do not get worked up over this issue about the term black or brown. It’s not meant to be racist, it’s just improper English usage. Really.

And finally, it is true that not all Indians smell. But if someone chooses to pinch their nose as they walk by, is it racist? I pinch my nose too (at least block it) when necessary. But I don’t do that to Indians, I do it to smokers. Am I a anti smoker? No! Some of my best friends smoke. I just don’t like the smell, that’s all. I do not know how you get the idea that people who pinch their nose around Indians are racist (they might do it to other individuals from other races wearing too strong a perfume), but try not to look too much into a certain action. Instead, take the thought of racism out of your head and objectively access the situation whether that person’s ‘racist’ action is justified. Maybe the person does really smell a little off or maybe the nosing pinching person is having a runny nose or something. Misunderstandings normally occur when we jump to conclusions too fast. Ask yourself today: have you been racist?